this was a tough one. many close contenders, but i narrowed it down to these:
10. It's kinda like a new pair of underwear. At first it's constrictive, but after a while it becomes a part of you.
9. And I love you. Because I've learned that platonic love can exist between two grown men.
8. Do I frighten you?
No.
Do you want me to?
7. Why is it that if a man kills another man in battle it's called heroic, yet if he kills a man in the heat of passion it's called murder?
6. I lost you two months ago. We broke up. Get the net!
5. If its a severed head, im going to be very upset
4. I once thought I had mono for an entire year. It turned out I was just really bored.
3. I say hurl. If you blow chunks and she comes back, she's yours. If you spew and she bolts, then it was never meant to be.
2. A gun rack... a gun rack. Shyeah, Right! I don't even own a gun, let alone many guns that would necessitate an entire rack. What am I gonna do... with a gun rack?
1. If benjamin were an ice cream flavor, hed be pralines and dick
honorable mention is the product placement piece:
and the laverne and shirly piece:
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